Gaara does a split
by Socho's pen
Summary: This is another story about gaara. Naruto and sasuke have a bet to see if gaara can do a split or not. sasuke's against it and Naruto's for it. Can Gaara do a split?I wanted to write a funny story so here you go. please leave reviews.


Gaara does a split.

"…And then he died at my feet and I laughed in pleasure…" Gaara was saying to his daughter Miyama when his wife entered. " We'll continue this later." He added with a whisper.

He kissed his wife and followed her into the kitchen.

She seemed a little tense about something.

"What is it Jess? Something happen?" He asked slightly worried.

"Gaara, no but…" Her voice trailed on. "…But Lord Hokage Uzimaki is here in the village." She answered.

"Of all times…?" He said with a confused look on his face. "And he wishes to see me. Hm okay then tomorrow. It's late and Miyama doesn't need to hear adult conversations."

"That's the problem Gaara, he and all the others from the chunin exams are here. They won't leave and one of them is so drunk he attacked our cat. Poor thing acts like he saw a giant _dog_." Said Jess. Gaara frowned and looked outside of his giant window in front of the living room. There they were, Sasuke Uchiha, Rock Lee, Sakura, Naruto Uzimaki, Kiba, Hinata, and Shino. The rest apparently had better things to do, like not attack cats. Gaara led them into a separate part of the house where there was another living room not near Miyama while she was taking a nap.

"Hey, Gaara, uh no killing feelings towards me anymore right? Please I have a wife and two kids!" Rock Lee whimpered and hid behind Sasuke. Sasuke just kicked him into the nearby fridge and his head got stuck in the freezer. Gaara wasn't amused. He told them to take a seat and he sat down himself.

To be polite he asked about how things were going for them.

"Perfectly after I married Lee." Sakura said and smirked at Sasuke. "I realized that someone in my life was a utter fool and broke free."

"Sakura and I are ex's and she divorced me over the simplest thing." Sasuke said just as angrily.

"You went all curse mark evil on me and tried to **kill** me!" Sakura shouted.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and said back.

"If it makes you feel any better, I _didn't_!"

"No! It just makes you seem like an idiot, which you are by the way. Also you left trash all over the house. I was your wife but I am not no damn maid!" She snarled and then it was obvious Sasuke had nothing left to say to her.

Gaara blinked several times.

"Alright … what do you want…?" He said in annoyance.

They all had blank looks on their face.

"Oh right, that." Naruto piped up. Then he cleared his throat. "You see I was talking with these guys in my home. Then they started getting into bets and stuff. So they bet that you couldn't do a spilt when I disagreed. There is no way I'm losing to Sasuke!"

Gaara had a weird look on his face.

"That's why you came, you came to _my_ home just to settle a stupid bet?!" He shouted in anger. " And why is Shino here?!"

"I'm the flexibility judge." He replied. Gaara found that a little gross.

Hinata explained that she came to watch over her husband Naruto and that Sakura was watching over Lee.

"My answer… is NO!" He yelled really loud and his wife came storming in.

"Mi-yama is asleep! Shh!" She snapped. "Just hurry up and make them leave."

"But Jess, they want to see if I can do a split just for a stupid bet. It's outrageous and my answer is no." Gaara said simply. Jess then smirked in a cute way.

"Oh, can you not do a split?"

Naruto raised his eyebrows up and down because the bet was going to happen with his wife on their side.

"Why would I even want to do a split?! It's stupid."

"That's not nice to call your friends stupid."

"They're not my friends. I wanted to murder all of them when I was a kid." Gaara replied and Jess glared at him.

" What did I say about speaking of killing people?"

"Oh come on! I tell my stories to Miyama and she doesn't get scared. Plus I'm a different man now." Gaara protested and others watched as he fought with his wife.

"You're telling them to MIYAMA! Do you want to give her nightmare!"

It was Kiba who interrupt her.

"Can we get on with the bet and go? If he can't do I split then Sasuke here wins. If he can then Naruto wins." He explained. Gaara turned and glared at him with such a fierce gaze Kiba that he too shoved his head in the freezer.

"Fine I'll do then will you just LEAVE?" Gaara shouted.

"Yep." They all replied.

Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Hinata and the two freeze heads followed Gaara outside.

Sasuke smirked at Naruto who glared back. Gaara felt like an idiot standing out there stretching his leg muscles. Yet, everyone around him was waiting for him to do a split whether he fails or not. He sucked in a breath and started to spread his legs and go down. Jess was laughing quietly behind him and Naruto and Sasuke were arguing. His legs began to strain and sweat rolled down his forehead. The sound of everyone's voices spun in his head and his inner self was mocking his stupidity. Their voices were starting to drive him insane! Then he couldn't take it anymore.

"SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!" He yelled and he fell. He had done a split and Naruto was cheering up a storm. All the pain of the split was worse than anything he'd ever felt. He then fell to his side, lights out for Gaara.

" Alright I win!" Naruto shouted.

"Oh contare, you see Gaara dying wasn't a part of the bet. He was supposed to _live_." Sasuke argued.

"He completed a full split! That was the rules!"

"No it wasn't dobe!"

WHO won you decide.


End file.
